This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize