we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize