i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
