I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
