even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
