I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
