whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize