once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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