One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
