You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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