I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
