you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
