Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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