she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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