Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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