Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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