Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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