If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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