My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
and she was petting her beer can
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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