in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
