Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
