Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
