Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize