I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
