He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize