Don't you send me to vm
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
