One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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