she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She made me pour olive oil on her.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
