The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
