you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize