At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
