Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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