david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
