Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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