Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
