I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
