I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
