Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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