I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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