i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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