I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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