so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
