Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
