it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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