Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
