I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So vagazzling was a success
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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