On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
