I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
