Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
