Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
