Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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