it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I supernannyed him into submission
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
