he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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