I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
