well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
