I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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