i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
