I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
