I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
