my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
