Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
