A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
