Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
