you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
